Suck it

I’m a bit late to this party: http://www.4woman.gov/breastfeeding/adcouncil/CNBA4230-E01NY.mpg
I hope everyone will forgive me, since I have the –fitting- excuse that I’m breastfeeding a colicky, possibly refluxing, 6 week old infant.

This ad is a disgrace and I’m outraged that my tax dollars went, in any small part, to fund it. The amount of money spent on this ad and its distribution could have printed pamphlets about proper pre-natal care or ads warning women of the dangers of post-partum depression. Instead we have this trite hyperbole that helps no one and angers many.

“Babies are born to be breastfed” claims the ad. Yes, well babies are also “born” to keep their food down without suffering from acid reflux. They are “born” to have tongues that can push a nipple against the tops of their mouths. Babies are “born” to be full term and healthy.

Women, by extension of this reasoning, are “born” to be able to breastfeed. They are “born” to have escaped breast cancer surgery. They are “born” to have normal blood pressure and thus avoid pregnancy-induced hypertension leading to severe prematurity of their children and life threatening seizures for themselves. Women are “born” to have normal blood chemistry and not need the miracles of modern medicine to regulate their self-destructive urges to harm themselves and their infants.

Is breastfeeding good for babies? In most cases, undoubtedly. But generalizations are dangerous things. Babies born to mothers who are addicted to drugs, for example, shouldn’t be breastfed. In that case, and many others like it, breastfeeding is not “best”. Even more destructive is the generalization that so called “normal” women should be able and willing to breastfeed.

I’m breastfeeding my second child. My first came home from the hospital with thrush. He was three weeks early and very sleepy. He didn’t “latch” well and breastfeeding was a tear inducing emotional hell for the first 5 weeks. Even after that it was by no means “easy” and the things I had to go through to continue breastfeeding cannot be considered “natural”. I went back to work full time when he was three months old. Ask any mother who has closeted herself in a bathroom stall 2-4 times a day to pump breast milk whether she’s doing something “natural”. There’s nothing natural about sticking a suction device to your breast and praying you can extract enough milk to feed your child for another day. There’s certainly nothing “easy” about explaining to single, unmarried, male coworkers why there are bags of breast milk chilling in the office fridge.

There are very few black and white truths to parenthood and, in that way, parenthood is a microcosm of society at large. Parents have to do the best they can to raise a healthy and happy child. Sometimes that means formula feeding. Sometimes doing what is best for your baby is making sure you are doing what works for you- whether that be breastfeeding, pumping milk to feed through bottles, or using formula.

The ad text mentions “exclusively breastfeeding for 6 months”. Well I guess you can sacrifice me on the altar of bad parenthood. This baby isn’t exclusively breastfed. He was born 4 weeks early and spent 6 hours in the NICU after a very stressful birth. In order to stabilize his plummeting blood sugar and body temperature he was given 20 ccs of formula. After discharge from the hospital we supplemented with formula in order to fight a nasty case of jaundice. So this child will never be “exclusively” breastfed. I seriously doubt I’ve ruined his fragile life. In fact, since I was following medical advice, I was probably saving his life.

I wish the Ad Council and HHS would take the money, and passion, they dedicated to this idiotic public service message and use it to find out why babies are born prematurely, why they are born with tongue-tie, why they develop life-threatening jaundice, why mother’s develop post-partum depression, and why people have to be so callously self-righteous about parenting choices.

Then, maybe, we will be able to ensure that all babies are “born” to be breastfed. Until then, the makers of this ad can, quite literally, SUCK IT.