The Dining Room

This was the dining room when we moved in. Lovely color scheme, yes? So lovely it apparently made Mark experience photographic vertigo...

This is the dining room right before the contractor starts knocking out the mold encrusted walls hidden behind that horrid, evil, wallpaper. (Yes that's packing tape and birthday streamers holding the wallpaper up. If you saw what was underneath it you'd tack it back up with stick pins if necessary.)




And this is the finished product. The chandelier and carpet will be gone by the end of summer and then we might actually feel up to inviting folks over for dinner.

The Most Patriotic Dining Room in America

Just in time for Memorial Day: our “remodeled” living room:

Yeah that’s not quite the color combination I had in mind. We’ll see if another coat of red paint at the bottom helps matters. (The trim has to be re-painted as well.)

Oh, and for those blissfully unaware, that carpet under all the plastic sheeting?

BLUE.

Because… yeah. Obviously the person who decorated before me was just as insane. Evidence: the chandelier from hell.

To end on a positive note, though, NO MOLD here, thanks much. That’s a BRAND NEW wall I painted while channeling Betsy Ross.

Type A stands for Type Amy

This one time, back when I consumed alcohol on a regular basis, I thought it would be SO cool to have a house with no mold on the inside OR the outside.

And then I fracking woke up from that dream and realized that the contractor is coming this Saturday. As in: one and one half days from now, Saturday.

We'll be living without a master bedroom, master bath, dining room, or back door. Mark and I will be sleeping in Ian's room, WITH IAN- the non-sleeping baby. There will be dust, and chaos, and most definitely no naps.

The nice man will be tearing out (count them) 4 entire walls of 3 separate rooms and a ceiling in a fourth room.

If we’re lucky he might put new stuff back up on the walls.

If a benevolent God truly exists (and, I’m sorry Mom, Dad, former Sunday school teachers and the godparents of my children, but right now I’m fairly sure God is laughing manically and waggling his fingers to make more things leak in this house. Because he’s THAT BORED.) our hard-won contractor won’t find anything else rotting/molding/leaking/dying once he starts working.

In the meantime, I’m going to be coping by going completely bat-sh!t insane. Please go away during this brief interlude. Do not take my phone calls or pretend that you know me when you see me on the playground, at the store, or sleeping on the curb outside your house.

If, however, you love my husband and my children, you might want to take Mark's phone calls. Because, God (you fickle being) love him, he has to live with me through this.

Ian's 1 year appointment

Ian weighs 21lbs (25%) is 30.5inches long (75%) and has a 48cm head (90%). So yes, he’s all hollow legs and head…

He’s been diagnosed as lactose intolerant so we have to avoid all dairy products for at least 6 months. In 6 months we can try giving him some milk and see if he has a bad reaction, again. Because of this allergy and my food allergies we also have to avoid giving him peanuts until he’s 3 years old.

I was under the impression that milk, cheese, yogurt, and peanut butter were the four major food groups for toddlers. I’m at a loss on food suggestions!

He had three vaccinations and, except for the still-clogged tear duct, got a “perfect” bill of health.

Looking Back on Ian's First Year

Ian Kenneth was born four weeks early on May 11, 2007. He weighed 7 pounds 8 ounces and was 19 inches long. He didn’t handle birth very well and, so, spent six hours in the neo-natal intensive care unit. Thankfully the Lord was watching over him and Ian was discharged from the hospital with nothing more serious than a mild case of jaundice.

This is the only picture we have of him in the NICU.

At six weeks of age Ian was diagnosed with reflux, which his big brother also had as an infant. He has been on Zantac ever since. He has, however, never had a problem gaining weight. When the Lord made Ian he accidentally added two “hungry” centers of the brain and left out the “sleep” center.

Ian had some physical developmental delays. I say “had” because in March he suddenly decided he was done with just rolling around. He now cruises around from couch to table to toys to windowsills and back again. He climbs the stairs as often as I turn my back and has even climbed up on the couch. I fully expect him to one day get bored with crawling, stand up in the middle of the floor and run after Ethan.

His only words right now are “da-da” and “og” (for the dog), but he expresses his moods very well in screams, screeches, grunts and yells. I sometimes wonder if I brought a baby home from the hospital or Ethan rescued a howler monkey during one of his imaginary jaunts with Diego and baby jag-water.

Ian already worships Ethan and finds his big brother to be the funniest creature on Earth. For his part Ethan is very protective of Ian and loves to play with him. He loves to go with me to get Ian after naptime and say “Well hello there. Did you have a good nap? Want to play ball now?”

We’ve all been blessed to have Ian in our lives. Despite the sleep deprivation, the multiple changes of clothes from the puking, the digestive worries, the concerns over his development and the usual baby trials, I wouldn’t trade my precious little boy for all the money in the world.

I might consider loaning him out to his grandparents for a month or so, though. You know, now that he’s one year old and such a big boy.

Just teasing, sniggett. Mamma loves you.

Reasons Why I Haven’t Posted

• Brain= FRIED. Seriously, there are days when the most profound statement coming out of my mouth is “Dude”.
• The rock that flew through the window on Monday.
• The mold growing on the outside of the house.
• The mold growing on the inside of the house.
• Too busy looking at the ceilings wondering if that spot up there indicates yet more water damage, or, some random spider that I smooshed three years ago but didn’t clean up.
• Ethan
• Ian
• Puke
• The driving necessity to eat, occasionally
• The big arse wasp, that is still giving me the willies, I had to kill in the house last night. What if there are more? What if they live inside the office- where the computer is?
• Ian keeps unplugging the wires for the router- before he chews on them. Damn mynock
• Sunshine. Outside is GOOD
• Went to return plate to Amy’s house and she invited me in for a glass of wine. Hour and a half later the husband calls wanting to know if I somehow got mugged in the three feet between our front door and Amy’s front door. I giggled hysterically. After one glass of wine. Sad
• Destroying Medieval European civilizations in Medievall II: Total War is more fun than trying to be witty/informative/mildly amusing on the blog
• Trying desperately to avoid the idea that a certain someone will be having a birthday in eight more days. EIGHT DAYS. CANNOT COMPUTE. Brain shutting down……………………………