Hell, I Never Even Heard of Something Like That

Turkey Creek Jack Johnson tagged me. Obviously I’ve angered her in some way more than the usual.

So, six “weird” things about myself. (Yes, it was hard to narrow the list to six. Now stop chortling, ingrates.)

1.The first time I met Todd, who was to be the best man at our wedding, he dragged me into a bathroom, locked the door and said “So you’re Amy. Tell me about yourself and why I should let you seduce my best friend.”

2.My high school graduating class consisted of 565 people but I’m only in touch with one. I haven’t seen her since my junior year in college, but we chat over email (and tag each other on our blogs).

3.I once dyed my hair fuchsia. Not intentionally, mind you, I was trying for auburn. That was the same night I went on my first official “date” with Mark. It was his birthday and we went to Columbia’s steakhouse.

4.I’ve broken every single toe on both feet, most of them multiple times.

5.By the time I was married, I’d had more concussions than boyfriends.

6.My freshman year in college I took a class called “Early Medieval History”. I was one of 5 girls in the class and the only non-athlete. That’s how I got to know the entire UK basketball starting line up and most of the football team. I also got a perfect 100% course grade.

(The title of this post is a quote from the movie Tombstone, from which Turkey Creek and I derive our nicknames.)

Oops: tagging other people. Who's a Huckleberry? Let's ask Holly, Shannon, Amber, Cheryl, and Alison.

Serial Contrarian

At Ian’s 9 month check-up I was overjoyed to report to the pediatrician that he had finally learned how to sit while supported with pillows at his back. It was a huge milestone for us. Since he wasn’t crawling or sitting unsupported, much less waving bye-bye or standing, she said he was about 6-8 weeks delayed on gross motor skills. That was February 20th.

On Tuesday March 20th Ian pulled himself to a standing position while trying to steal his brother’s sippy cup. The next day he decided that crawling on hands and knees was an ideal form of transportation. Two weeks previously he had decided that sitting up was easy and yes he could get himself that way and play much easier, thanks.

Yeah. He went from 6-8 weeks delayed to right on schedule in the space of 3 weeks.

Just when I think I have a “handle” on Ian and his wonky version of baby development, he throws another “but” clause into the works. Born early but full-term sized. Rough birth but learned to nurse immediately. Has reflux but gains weight and length at astonishing pace. Won’t sleep through the night but can soothe self to sleep. Couldn’t sit unsupported but mastered pincer grasp. Couldn’t crawl on hands and knees but pulled self to standing position.

Don’t blink, tomorrow he’ll have figured out how to peddle the bicycle that Ethan is still trying to master.

Peas in a Pooh PJ Pod

Ethan in November of 2003 at age 12.5 months

Ian in March of 2007 at age 10.5 months

Thoughts on Tubby

Tubby Smith is a classy guy. I met him in person only once, but he was exceedingly polite and seemed genuinely interested in our conversation. He coached UK through ten years with little hint of scandal and excellent academic records. Those are important in NCAA basketball.

Unfortunately, there are a few things that are just as important for University of Kentucky basketball. Recruiting may well have been Tubby’s downfall. UK went from a roster studded with McDonalds All-Americans to guys who ate at McDonalds. Wrose, they ate at McDonalds in Georgia or New York or somewhere, anywhere, except Kentucky. Kentucky has a rich history of basketball from top to bottom. So why did Tubby consistently pass up Kentucky stars?

But it wasn’t just the lack of recruiting talent that doomed Tubby. Travis Ford, Jimel Martinez, John Pelphrey, Deron Feldhaus, most of the teams that Pitino led in his early years, were not stars before they came to Kentucky. Most weren’t stars after they left Kentucky. While at UK, though, they learned to play up their strengths and work as a unit bent on one thing: winning. Pitino’s condition program was grueling. It had to be to keep up with the full-court style of play that Pitino coached and it had to be because in the early years Kentucky’s bench wasn’t deep.

Tubby’s players are winded after 15 minutes in the first half. He doesn’t have a deep bench either because of recruiting or because players haven’t learned their rolls. If your guys can’t run the floor with the likes of UNC, Flordia, and, God-help-us, Tennessee, then those teams are going to wipe the floor with you.

Good luck in Minnesota, Tubby and thanks for being a classy guy. I was a sports writer at UK during the Roderick Rhodes years and I saw what the crucible of expectations can do to a player. It could only have been worse for a coach.

As an ending, a note for Mitch Barnhardt: Find someone who inspires recruits to come to Lexington and learn about the University I love. Find someone who will teach a team how to run like thoroughbreds. Find someone with a heart of gold and a skin like a rhino. Find us a winner or find a new job.

Eatin’ O’ the Green

Busy times here in the Davis household on St. Patrick’s Day. To start off, I have to say how sorry I was that I had to miss The Gathering of Eagles in downtown DC. It was an event I was committed to attending, but family had to come first this weekend. I hope those patriots know how much of America was with them in spirit.

We woke up to no power and WOW was it ever cold in this house when the power finally came back on at 10:30am. Ian didn’t take a morning nap (he’s been acting extra fussy/sick for several days) so it wasn’t a pleasant morning. After lunch he finally gave up and passed out. I took some “me” time and went out to the grocery.

When I got home Ethan and I made some celebratory cupcakes. Ethan is wearing his chef’s ensemble made by Gramma. He really likes it, but is worried that I’m sad because I don’t have a “cooking hat”. I told him I’d try to soldier on in the face of disappointment.

The cupcakes were green, of course.

Then I made steak pies for dinner. Dinner for Mark and I, that is. Ethan had white rice and chicken - proving yet again that he’s more Filipino than Anglo-Celt. I modified the recipe by removing the mushrooms (eew fungus) and instead of making one large, single-crust pie I made 12 smaller “pasties” using Pillsbury ready-made pie crusts and muffin tins. Served it with roasted potatoes. Very yummy. We watched “The Departed” while we ate. I thought it was a very well done movie. Mark didn’t like the ending.



Click here for more pictures of Ethan the chef and the finished meals.

Time Change in Hell

Whoever came up with the concept of Daylight Savings Time and time changes either never had children, or had children who never had a routine and wanted to inflict that pain on the rest of humanity.

Ian was just starting to get into a regular nap and bedtime routine. Ethan is at that difficult age where he really needs a nap in order for mere humans to be in his company by 5pm, but if he has a nap he’s up until 10pm. Neither boy has adapted well to the time change.

By “not adapted well” I mean that naps and bedtimes, well, actually, every single hour of the past two days, have been unmitigated emotional drama-fests not seen since Shannon Doherty was on the cast of 90210.

Adult Assembly Required

Further evidence that God, in his infinite wisdom, collapsed in hysterics the day I considered getting an aeronautical engineering degree:

Aunt Dianne was kind enough to purchase this bath toy for us.



Ethan loves it and Ian likes to observe it while relaxing in his bath. (He doesn’t deign to play with toys while bathing. Bathing is for relaxing. Plebian childhood pursuits like splashing and such being SO far beneath his Highness Only-Sits-When-He-Chooses.)

The problem is, the dang thing keeps falling off the wall, and it is heavy. I’ve tried rubbing a bit of soap on the suction cups, cleaning the shower wall, wetting the suction cups, drying the suction cups, even considered sacrificing a small clown fish as an offering- to no avail.

Then, this morning, I happened upon a picture of Noah in his bath on Amalah.com and LO! There was LIGHT! IN MY HEAD! And the light said:

“Idiot. The directions said hang the thing on the TUB. T U B.”

States exhibit 1 that I might have cheated on those reading comprehension tests.

Still Here

No we did not drop off the face of the Earth. Yes we all still have all of our appendages- the one’s God gave us, even.

Speaking of appendages and God, though, Ian has shown a recent fascination with stairs. If you know me- which of course you do, because why else would you be reading this mindless drivel – then you are thinking one of two things:

“So, it begins”

or

“HA! Toddlers body-surfing down the stairs so totally rock, DUDE!”

Actually: no. If you are thinking that last bit you don’t know me. You are, in fact, DEAD TO ME. Nine and half month old boys who can’t even crawl should not be kneeling at the bottom of the steps and gazing upwards as if they are looking at the ascent to the promised land. It’s unnatural and terrifying. There is an order to the universe. First you are born. Then you learn to eat. Then you learn to roll, then crawl, then sit up on your own, then pull to a standing position, then walk. THEN you learn to trip over your gnarly gnome toes and fall head first down the steps.

The kid can’t even say Mamma yet; so how’s he going to cry out in terror when he plummets to his doom?

Aside from the stair-induced neurosis, yes we’re fine. Just waiting for it to warm up a bit so I can thrown Ethan out the back door and let him destroy the yard for 5-6 hours a day. We have a small yard and I think a few afternoons of frantic four year old energy in such a confined space will solve the world’s energy problems. Take that, Al Gore.