Take 2 Zyrtec and shove them you know where…

Ethan came down with a high fever, runny nose, cough and vomiting last Wednesday. After two miserable days the fever and vomiting finally eased but the headache and cough continue. Ethan has what pediatricians like to refer to as a “productive, wet, cough”. I like to refer to it as “Makes his rib cage cave in to make him look even more anorexic than he did before” cough.

So I took him to the pediatrician. Not our normal, understanding, informative, intelligent pediatrician. No, instead we got Dr. Oblivious.

Dr. Oblivious: “Is it a barking cough or a wet cough?”

Me: “Wet. Though I don’t know if he’s coughing up anything, why don’t you ask him? He’s five. He talks.”

Dr. Oblivious: “His nose is runny and swollen and he’s scratching his eyes. He has allergies. He should take Zyrtec.”

Meanwhile I’m wrangling a squirming, irritated, Ian and giving the doctor a look of complete disbelief. Since when do allergies cause a fever and a cough like that? But, ok, whatever. There is the distinct possibility that I was over reacting to Ethan being sick, since it’s happened all of three times in his whole 5 ½ years of life.

Now the regular pediatrician would have glanced at the squirming younger brother and said “Has he shown any symptoms?” Dr. Oblivious couldn’t wait to be out the door.

Fast forward 5 days. Ian has a nice barking cough, a constant low-grade fever, refuses to eat (though that’s normal) and is generally fussier than normal. (Imagine a rabid howler monkey with a festering thorn stuck in his foot. That *might* come close to the level of irritation.) Also, because allergies are contagious, *I* have a barking cough, sneezing, runny nose, low grade fever and general malaise.

Basically, we all have spring colds. A betting man would place money right now that the boys will recover within a week and I’ll piss and moan until I have a good case of bronchitis before finally going to the doctor. Where, I’ll be informed I have asthma and should take Zyrtec on a regular basis.

I should have gone to med school…