5 Years for 4 Months

I’ve been having a debate with myself for the past few weeks. Ian is 4 months old today and I try to post monthly updates on this site. But today is also the 5th anniversary of 9/11 and I really feel like I should have some sort of commemoration or memories post.

The more I think about those hours and days following the terror attacks, the more I realize that this post really does need to be about Ian and Ethan.

Five years ago I woke early to fight traffic all the way to Capitol Hill. This morning I woke up early after Ian gifted me with 7 hours of sleep last night. I nursed him back to sleep and snuggled down in the bed with him.

Five years ago I was debating with Kassy and Anne about who would go downstairs to get breakfast. This morning Ethan helped me make muffins.

Five years ago every TV in the Senator’s office was turned to CNN or FOX. This morning the TV was tuned to Franklin and the Wiggles.

9/11/01 was a bright sunny day- the perfect day in DC. 9/11/06 has dawned dreary and grey, as if the sky itself weeps with remembrance.

9/11 was a sobering day for me. I’d only been on Capitol Hill for 5 months. I was still a “junior staffer” and the ways and workings of the legislative branch of our government were still somewhat mystifying. The terror quotient of 9/11 didn’t come until it was all over. We were too confused, in the dark, and busy to be scared during the attacks. Post- traumatic stress syndrome probably best describes the crash of emotions I, we all, went through following that sunny September Day.

Five years ago I was undergoing treatment for endometriosis. We weren’t even sure we could have a baby. Financially we weren’t ready for a baby. We had just signed a lease on a rental house in Bowie and we were looking forward to leaving our one room apartment in Baltimore. Mark had just started at Mythic and the future was by no means certain or even secure.

Five years later we have not one but two gorgeous, happy, healthy boys. We own our own home. I can look back with pride on my time with the Senator. Mark is excelling at his career. Our personal finances are in order, the outlook promising.

That is how 9/11 should be remembered. Pause to reflect on those friends and loved ones lost and remember the sadness and uncertainty of those days. Then think about all the wonderful things that have occurred in those five years. The children born, the sunny days celebrated, the continuation of life. We have not moved on, we have not forgotten, but we have grown.

How better to say: “Terror did not win. We have survived. We did not collapse when the towers did. We did not surrender when the walls of the Pentagon fell.” Those brave men on that plane in Pennsylvania, the very men who might well have saved my life that day, said “Let’s roll.”

We have rolled on.

Happy 4 month birthday Ian.