Change of Life -- Part II

June 2013

I've been in pain almost non-stop for the past three months.  Sometimes the pain was so bad I wanted to curl up and cry and sometimes it was a dull background annoyance that left me irritable.  My periods were incredibly heavy, leaving me weak and anemic.  The first two weeks of June, the sharp knifing pains in my left side didn't go away.  They got worse.  I was also bloated, miserable, and felt like I had a constant low-grade UTI.  I finally scheduled a doctor's appointment.

The very nice nurse practitioner listened to my history, did a quick exam and then did a pelvic ultrasound.  By then end of the appointment I was in tears from the pain and could barely walk.  She found a mass on my left ovary.  She explained it was most likely an ovarian cyst and that I shouldn't be worried about "what else it might be", but of course I worried.  We discussed all the treatment options.  She scheduled another, more complete, ultrasound and a surgical consult.

The second ultrasound found that the cyst was an endometrial growth that appeared to be growing into my ovary and essential splitting it in half. With every monthly cycle, the cyst would rupture and bleed, cause more scar tissue, and further split the ovary.

I started reading every reputable, and a few idiotic, sources I could find regarding endometriosis, hysterectomy, hormone replacement therapy and surgical success rates.  I also spent a lot of time talking to Mark and crying myself to sleep.  By the time of my consult appointment on the 17th, I was ready with a list of questions and concerns.

My surgeon listened to every question, discussed things in depth, and presented me with several options. Because estrogen is produced by the ovaries and it is estrogen that makes the endometriosis grow, we agreed that removal of both ovaries and complete removal of all endo adhesions and growths would be the only way to treat me.  Many surgeons and patient advocate groups argue against the removal of ovaries in women under 45 because of the stress that prolonged hormone replacement therapy and/or hormone deficiency has on the body.  Heart disease and osteoporosis risks increase dramatically the earlier a woman goes into menopause. However, my left ovary HAD to be removed ASAP and there was no reason to leave the right ovary if it would continue to produce, and be plagued by, endo.

Because of the need to clean endo from surrounding organs, because both ovaries would be removed, and because there was a chance that repairs to my bladder or bowel would be needed, the surgeon decided to do a lateral abdominal incision.  This is the old, "big cut", surgery.  Recovery takes 4-6 weeks and this surgery requires a 3-4 day hospital stay.  However, we both agreed that this was the best approach.

Tuesday June 25th I checked into the hospital at 5am, kissed my boys and husband, and met the surgical staff.  Surgery took just over two hours and went remarkably well.  The surgeon found exactly what we expected on the left ovary, but no damage or growths on non-reproductive organs.  He did, though find that my uterus had developed a condition called adenomyosis.

I was in the hospital until Friday June 28th.  Ironically enough, post-op hysterectomy patients are housed on the same ward as the new moms & babies.  That made for some interesting reflections on life, but my nurses were very adept at dealing with gynecological issues and surgeries.

As of this post, I am 1 week and 1 day post-op.  I have been weaning myself off the stronger pain medicines.  I'm struggling with fatigue and tenderness in my lower abdomen.  I'm very weak.  Most obnoxious has been the recovery period for my bowels and bladder.  Dealing with such bathroom issues with a six inch incision across your belly IS NOT FUN.  Most of my abdominal muscles were cut  and then sutured.  The rest of the muscles seem to be angry at me and on-strike.

My mom is here to help with the boys and my husband has been picking up all of the housekeeping, grocery- shopping, meal-cooking, boy-disciplining, slack. I've had a handful of hot flashes in the past week, but otherwise no noticeable hormonal issues as yet.

The second day I was home my youngest son, Ian, gave me a young.  He said, "Your belly is hard and I keep thinking there's a baby in there."  I tried not to cry and said "There's no baby honey.  No more babies for mommy."  Honestly, losing that, admittedly tiny, chance that I might have another child is my biggest regret. I will not regret having the surgery, though. Twenty four years of pain and damage to my organs was enough.

I have my first post-op appointment on the July 5th.